Asuna Kagurazaka and the Infinite Loops
by The Silent Fox
Summary: Asuna could swear she'd done all of this before. A few times, even. And it's getting really, really boring and glitchy. A Negima! Infinite Loops story, inspired by Innortal and Saphroneth.


**Mahou Sensei Negima! : Asuna Kagurazaka and the Infinite Loops**

* * *

1.1

Asuna Kagurazaka, age 15-ish? Student of class 2-A of Mahora Academy Middle School, girls campus. Her after school activities include Art Club, and is employed as a paper delivery girl. She is also known as 'Baka Red', leader of the 'Baka Rangers', a collection of the poorest academic scoring girls in her class.

Her non-public records include having an anti-magic barrier that's made up of her body, managing to get into a Pactio contract with a nine year old, traveling to Mars (aka the Magic World), beating the ever living snot out of a vampire, her robot maid, a demon summoning priestess, multiple lesser demons, a magical dog boy, more monsters than she can count (though that's not saying much, but the number kept by others for her is much more impressive), and finally helping save the worlds from a force that could wipe the most powerful of mages out of existence.

Though, she had nothing to do with Jack "Gamebreaker" Rakan coming back from the dead twice by his sheer willpower and fighting spirit. Everyone agreed that Rakan was pretty much the most overpowered fighter in all existence.

That said, Asuna is, all in all, just a normal girl with some weird magical abilities at the beginning of her timeline. A very dense, slightly slow witted, but normal girl.

The school day started as it always did at the beginning of the semester: with a stampede of girls from the train station, Asuna Kagurazaka, and her roommate Konoka Konoe, included in the fray. At that moment, the precise second she felt the magically created wind beside her as she turned her head to look at the redheaded boy in the dorky green suit and beige overcoat, she Awoke.

" 'Sup, Negs?" She casually asked to the new teacher, tapping him on the shoulder with a fist lightly.

The boy, no older than nine or so, kept pace with her and her friend, but stared up at the young woman, bewildered. "I'm sorry, but who are you, Miss?"

Chalking up the entire first day to being nothing but a dream, and a vivid one at that, Asuna grinned to herself as she caught the kid in a headlock. "Oh, come on, you know me. We did the whole Pactio thing, went to the Magic World, and fought off the Mage of Beginning, idiot." She punctuated by giving the kid a noogie.

Konoka stopped in place as she watched the two, her expression a mix of her usual airheaded joy and absolute confusion. "You know this kid, Asuna? From an online game or something?"

Asuna took a moment to turn to her friend. A second set of memories hit her. It was the first day. _That_ day. Her grip on the boy's head loosened, the young teacher and the anti-magic girl's roommate staring at her as she stared off into the distance.

"Is this-" she started, trying to process what was going on, before jumping to the most logical conclusion she could, "This has to be some kind of screwed up time thing that Chao is up to again."

* * *

1.2

Asuna was used to dying by now. Or something close to it. Those magical 'naps' may as well have been death in how long they lasted. She gave a sigh as she Awoke at the train station again, the first 'bullshit time shenanigans' ending with the school's World Tree activating and setting off Chao's world domination scheme months in advance.

Her mood turned dour as she strode forward, trying to make things play out for the better this time. As she felt Negi's signature magical wind, she turned to him with a smile on her face, introducing as politely as possible. "Hey Negi. I'm Asuna, a complete stranger who happens to be your amnesiac aunt who's been through decades long magical stasis, who's kissed you more than a few times!"

* * *

1.3

Ok. No more playing around. Asuna gathered herself as she joined the stampede from the train station again. This time she'd definitely let things play out how they normally did. Fifteen loops. Fifteen godforsaken time loops. Each one ending worse every time she tried to change her meeting with her nephew. Well, nephew or her savior's son. Her memories were starting to meld between two different sets. One where she was from the Magical World, and one where she was a little girl who summoned Satan.

Really, the second sounded a lot more awesome in her opinion, but the former lent itself to explain more of her existence and power. The looper ignored the kid beside her, pushing him out of her way as she continued on to class, almost dragging Konoka along with her.

* * *

Everything seemed to be working decently this time. She was sticking to what she remembered from what Chao called the 'base timeline' as best she could, though a word or two always seemed to slip out at just the wrong moment. Like letting Negi know Evangeline was a vampire. Who was preying on his students. And wanted his blood in the kinkiest way possible.

Being perfectly honest with herself, Asuna couldn't help but think she had severely screwed up as she watched one of Evangeline's ice spears shoot at her head.

* * *

1.4

Loop number- No. Asuna took a few moments to think over the number of loops she'd been through now. Each one was three and a half years long, barring inexplicable death. Or completely avoidable death, like with a few of the Evangeline encounters. She'd lost count of the loops, but the years wore on. At least fifty at this point.

She Awoke in a different place this time. It looked like and felt like Mahora, but the memories were different this time. She cringed as she sorted through them. She was apparently a lot lazier and more obsessed with the mythical chupacabra in this loop. For the first time in a while, she grinned. Boredom had finally taken over.

* * *

"Real men don't pick fights and then cry over them! Are you prepared to admit your loss already? Your father would've just laughed off something like-" As Evangeline lectured Negi while she stood on the bridge at the edge of the Mahora city-school limit, she noticed a single odd detail. An odd crunching noise. The vampire turned her head to look past her robot maid Chachamaru.

Sitting in a folding chair, Asuna Kagurazaka, the idiot partner of the child-mage, watched the scene before her with a pair of 3D glasses on her face. In her lap was a large bowl of popcorn. The redhead waved the vampire off with a hand. "What's keeping you? Finish him off!" She spoke between bites of the popcorn, handing the odd few to the white ermine on the back of the chair.

"Why are you- What sort of foolish insolence is this!" Evangeline angrily yelled, pointing a finger at her classmate. "Chachamaru, destroy her!"

"Yes, Mistress right awa- awa- way-" The maid sputtered as a steady stream of smoke started pouring out of her artificial mouth. "Critical system error."

Asuna stood from her chair slowly, brushing her skirt off as she approached the gynoid. She pulled a notepad from her pocket as she grabbed at the robot's back, reading the memo as she tore off the panel to Chachamaru's internal system easily. "Man, you gotta hate Linux. Can't run a single thing if the user's an idiot." The normally tech-stupid student took a few moments, rapidly rewiring the machine before the vampire could react.

"M-Mistress, it seems as though my control permissions have been altered. Error- Voice imprint deleted. Error- Combat system offline. Error- Admin access restricted. Error- Safe mode engaged. Error- Emotion constructs deleted. Error- File not found." Every sentence was punctuated with the blip of a computer error message. Chachamaru stabbed a hand through her own chest, tearing out several parts before finally kneeling down silently.

Evangeline lifted a finger at the scene, completely bewildered by what had precisely happened to her favorite toy.

Asuna took the opportunity to yank Nagi's staff from the vampire's hand. She tapped it against the immortal's forehead several times before dragging her partner off. "You should really tell Chao not to show people how Chacha works. She gets way too excited when she explains hypothetical damage to her machines and how to cause them and fix them."

* * *

1.5

Asuna stretched her arms as she waited on the mid-terms. This particular trip to Library Island had paid off in spades. Whatever the reason, instead of the usual knowledge magic book, she found a very interesting tome bound in human flesh. Given strong Yue reacted to it, this horrifying item was bound to be important. Negi warned against its use, but she had a mid-term to pass. Or at least make interesting.

The test began as it always did, only with Asuna's bag containing the book with the human face on it. She stood in the middle of the test, pulling the book from her bag and held it above her head. She yelled in plain, surprisingly coherent English, "That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die! **_Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!_**"

* * *

Asuna watched with glee from the shoulder of the eldritch-thing she'd summoned as it destroyed Mahora Academy's test facilities. Its ancient and horrifying visage caused even the most faithful to normal religions to pray for his mercy. Now wearing some nifty cultist robes, the girl softly kicked her hanging legs as she excitedly called out to her new octopus-faced best friend, "Hey, Cthulu-chan, hit that one!" The horror from beyond human reckoning let forth a sonic blast from his mouth to destroy a nearby clock tower, leaving little more than rubble in his wake.

She had to admit, this was going to be a fun loop if Cthulu maintained its current destructive power.

* * *

1.6

Yue and Haruna both grabbed their walkie talkie, watching from one of the school rooftops as the apparently insane Asuna carried out her plan. Once more, it was the first fight with Evangeline, and as usual, Negi was barely holding his own. The radio crackled as the redhead's voice came on, the girl putting on a Southern American accent. She spoke with a drawl that would seem almost natural, "Rubber Duck and Rattler, this is Red Baron. I've got a beaver that just about blew my doors off, and there's another one that's about to be flatter than a roadside pole cat." The broadcast paused for a moment as the two started yelling into the receiver in their hands, before starting up once more, "If yer' talkin', I can't hear ya. I'm runnin' an alligator radio, and there's a couple'a baby bears about to get turned inta bumper stickers!"

* * *

Evangeline started her usual lecture as she stole Nagi's staff away from Negi, "Real men don't pick fights and then cry over them! Are you prepared to admit your-" She paused as she heard a mixture of loud engines and police sirens. She turned around to clearly see an eighteen wheeled truck barreling down the bridge, with a familiar redhead behind the wheel.

Asuna grinned, wearing a trucker hat, a plaid, tied top, and a pair of Daisy Dukes. She pulled down on the line for the horn, the sound of Dueling Banjos echoing out into the Japanese night sky. Negi, though surprised, ran to the edge of the bridge to watch the scene unfold before his young eyes.

Evangeline, for the mighty vampire she was, was caught in the headlights, staring incredulously at the truck. A pair of screams were let out upon impact. One of surprise from the blonde, and one very loud 'yeehaw' of exuberance from the truck stealing Anchor as the truck veered off of the bridge and into the river below.

* * *

1.7

Asuna ran for her life to get to class. Only, this time was noticeably different. She was almost certain she'd taken the wrong stop on the train. That is, until she looked down. She was flat as a board, and she felt odd 'downstairs'. Her loop memories kicked in. She and her entire class were male this time. All of them. She glanced over to the magical wind beside her, looking at a longer haired Negi. Instead of his usual suit, he was now in a women's suit. The second year Anchor let out a small cry of despair as she (now he) grabbed her short red hair while contemplating the implications of this sudden role reversal.

Needless to say, her first conclusion was that this particular loop was going to end with a lot of arrests.

* * *

1.8

"So, you girls know the plan now?" Asuna inquired as she spoke privately to Yue and Haruna in one of the many empty 'extra' classrooms of which Mahora seemed to have an overabundance. She looked over the blue and green haired girls, knowing for sure that the two book club members were fully Awake.

"Let me get this straight," Haruna began, taking her sketch pencils away from the paper she'd been drawing on. "You want us to try and speed up Negi's contract with Nodoka so she's his first partner instead of you?"

A sly grin came across the Anchor's lips as she leaned forward onto the desk with one hand, "Yup. Either of you got a problem with it?"

The artist was the first to speak up, "Of course not! This ship gives me so many feels! Not to mention it'd make Nodoka a lot more ballsy by the time we go on that Kyoto trip."

Yue motioned to speak, but held back, an obvious blush coming across her normally stoic face. Asuna was more than aware of the little love triangle, having had a bit of time to work it out and even see it up close. She finally spoke up as she set her juice box down, "Next time I'm awake for a loop, let me be his first Pactio." She pleaded with the Anchor, both hands gripping her skirt tightly as she spoke.

Asuna's grin grew as she had a willing candidate to veer the base timeline off course. "Sure. Just be sure to beat the snot out of Evangeline for me."

* * *

"Behold, the goddess of thought and mind! I am your new Over-Queen! Bow before your Library Goddess, Nodoka Miyazaki, or perish!" A series of book-shaped lasers spewed forth from the hands of the now giant, demon powered librarian.

The city-academy was mostly left in ruins by the time Asuna sleepily looked out of her dorm room window. "Huh." She shrugged before laying back down to wait for the loop to end.

* * *

1.9

"Alright, Yue. Your turn. Just go up and talk to him." After class of the first day, Asuna calmly spoke to an Awake Yue, softly pushing her into the room before closing the door behind her. All was going according to her plan. How many different girls could she get Negi to make a contract with on the first day? The game was on as she watched through the crack in the door.

* * *

Yue walked through the streets of Mahora hours later at a happy, yet even pace. The sky was cloudy and grim, yes, but she couldn't care less. She even skipped a bit, completely uncharacteristic for the usually self-controlled library girl.

Asuna watched in fear as Yue wandered the streets, wrapped in a black aura of death and despair. The pitch black clouds above spiraled down around her, destroying everything she passed by. Whatever horrible power she gained from the first Pactio, it was more than enough to make even the World Tree wilt.

* * *

AN:

So... this is a thing I'm doing that's inspired by other things. Mostly the MLP Infinite Loops fic. If you haven't read any of the other ones yet, I highly suggest it. As an edit and an aside, this will just be non-canon to the Infinite Loops multiverse, since I jumped the gun on trying to make this a thing. So, look for the official Infinite Loops Negima fic while I write this nonsense.


End file.
